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After going on over 150 dates, trying out over 100 dating websites, and advising hundreds of individuals at all levels of dating experience, one thing consistently stands out to me: .Using dating sites to find love is inefficient and prone to failure.I'm from Killeen Texas but working in Nebraska right...Last year, I met a girl named Jessica on Ok Cupid and we agreed to meet up and go on an adventure date throughout Seattle.Jessica and I met up as friends, without any overt attempts at wooing, courting, or sleeping with one another. She came to understand my background story and my relationship goals and preferences ( talk about these things all the time), and I learned about hers.Using these insights, we both began introducing each other to awesome people within our respective friend groups, and have been doing so for years.We explored new neighborhoods, meandered through parks, and people-watched out of a coffee shop’s balcony.The next week, I hosted a board game night and invited her so she could meet some of my friends.

New dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Coffee Meets Bagel make us log in with Facebook, and they display the mutual friends we share with users on the app, which generates feelings of credibility and trust.According to PEW research, as of last year, only 11% of US adults have used online dating sites, and of those, only 23% have actually entered into a relationship with someone they met there.That means that only 2.5% of Americans are getting into relationships with people they met on dating sites.The most effective strategy for finding a good relationship is thus to optimize dating sites for finding Friends understand our needs, become invested in our story, and enthusiastically introduce us to more of their friends.As an online dating consultant and matchmaker, I’m a strong believer in the power of these referral networks.

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