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My Mr Rich lived in a two-up, two-down in Lancashire with an outside loo throughout his childhood.Such self-made men are so terrified of being poor again that they are constantly driven to make more and more money. While they don't like spending it 'unwisely', by which I mean on other people, they think nothing of splashing out, if it is for a good reason - such as showing off their status, for example. When he bought a house in the exclusive Hamptons near New York last year, he wanted to make some new best friends and threw a bash.HE WAS so used to feeling superior that he treated me like another person in his employ.His superior attitude kicked into my submissive side and I found myself troweling on make-up at 11pm, because he had just arrived from New York and wanted to see me.Well, we did arrive at a rather posh hotel, only it turned out my date owned it, along with about 200 others.As I stepped from his BMW convertible onto the cobbled drive, tripping and practically twisting my stilettoed ankle, he had already shot off inside - rich men seem to move and talk quicker.
Think of all the new contacts he had made, and how he could show off his impressive collection of 20th-century art - I counted at least six Cy Twomblys that evening, a couple of Picassos and if I am not mistaken there was even a Rauschenberg in the loo - subtext: I am so rich I don't care where I put my paintings. Super-mates, whether the stick thin model or rich man, are not accessible to all, which is why when one of them invites you to dinner, you feel as if you are being allowed into a special club. I used to spend whole weekends watching the entire Doris Day collection in his sitting room, which was three times the size of my entire flat.
By the time I hobbled into the faux Art Deco foyer, there he was - Mr Tycoon, his face red with anger, spluttering at the poor doorman for being slow It got worse.
Well it would, wouldn't it - how can you take a girl out to dinner when you are checking that the people at the next table are being served properly. While Heather Mills is not the sweetest girl on the planet, he did marry her, so why has he now had her credit cards stopped and her bodyguards taken away when the child is not with her.
This was the catch - the relationship was on his terms.
Given that he spent a huge chunk of his time jetting around the globe, I had to be on call.